Lent and International Wheelchair Day
I'm having a reet grumpy day (Said in my best northern accent!) Persistently high pain levels can occasionally do that to people.
I also found out this morning that it is International Wheelchair Day today.
That's nice then.....
(Irritated silence......Told you I was having a grumpy day!)
I'm wondering what having a day like this achieves? Does it raise awareness? Possibly.... maybe, for one day - and then most will then forget for the other 364 days of the year.
I don't want awareness - I want change.
Does it help those who are wheelchair users feel better about it? Maybe. I know many wheelchair users who are loud and proud about using their wheels.
There are only two things I like about using a wheelchair - it gives me independence, and it saves the energy I need for working that would otherwise be spent on just getting to where I need to be.
What do I hate about it?
Well - I think I can sum that up simply - the inconvenience. I'm not going to list everything - just take my word for it!
I also hate it because of my reaction to being in it, and other's reactions to me when I'm in it. I feel ugly sitting in it and I resent it. On one hand it gives me independence and freedom, but it also limits me and those I work with as they try hard to find accessible locations for meetings.
So yep - I'm in a bad mood.
My disability comes with other bits and pieces attached to it - including problems in the way I see things - try reading with your book under running water, add little whirlpools and liberal dollops of lightening pains, and you'll be close to what reading is like for me.
I wanted a specific lent reading book this year, and in the hope that the one I wanted would appear in a kindle format with text to speech, I waited... and waited. Well - it seems the publisher isn't going to do that (Yes, I asked them) - so it remains, out of my reach and reading ability, only in paperback form.
Yep - bad mood not helped!
This Lent season I also wanted to do what I did two years ago and keep a thankful journal......oh boy - I've got off to a bad start haven't I!
Yes it's a bad start - but I'm safe in the knowledge that God 'gets' how I feel and doesn't mind when I have a rant at Him.
He's big enough and loving enough to take it. He understands.
I'm also safe in the knowledge that I'm not alone in this - I've found that all people with a disabilities will go through days like this, as will those caring for loved ones who have disabilities and additional needs. So if that's you - please don't feel guilty. It's normal and part of the grief cycle that can poleax you at any time. It's ok not to be ok.
For myself I say - it's a good reason for my bad mood, but it's not an excuse to stay there.
I rarely take my bad moods out on others - but it's not a good place to be for my energy levels and general well being. It's not a place God would want me to stay for long either. Yes, He 'gets' it, but out of a deep love for me - He doesn't want me to stay there.